so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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