I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
