Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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