Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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