i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize