it was like his penis was on wheels.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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