You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
