we're blogging at a bar
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
