I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
