I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
