Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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