I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
