I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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