seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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