i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
