he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's the barista slut.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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