He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
