How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
