Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
