There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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