I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
