I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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