I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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