Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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