ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
