I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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