shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize