he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
