So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize