I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
