We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
