He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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