you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
