Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
