Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
