Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
