Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
