I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
