Are we in a gay sports bar?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
