He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
