high people should be assigned attendants
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize