Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
