yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
