I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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