Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
honey bunches of taint.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
