I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
