Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
