Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
