My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
