You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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