His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
