I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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