sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
