so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
