So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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