It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize