I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
