Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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