did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
