that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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