Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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