As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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