i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
