Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she looked like the before picture.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
