And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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