I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He kissed a someone with a penis
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
