a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
