yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
