Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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