my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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