the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
