Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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