I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
