It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
