But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
